So where do we go from here?

Quick update on Thursday. Today was our last full day of camp. Katie Kafoure led the devotional time as part of evening worship. (Katie, Sam, Anne, and Ticia have all done a wonderful job in their testimonies at night.) Today we had GREAT weather. It was cooler than normal with a nice breeze. It's going to be tough readjusting to the humidity back home. Brandon and I put up our third tether-ball of the week. They are absolutely pounding those things. Previous teams set up tether-balls poles in prior years, and those poles are put to great use throughout the day.

Everyone continues to develop great relationships with various children. There truly are some precious children. When we returned this afternoon, the kids had set up a performance/talent show that was based on a beauty pageant theme with various children's groups involved in different parts of the program. We were entertained with singing, break-dancing, a girls group dance to a pop song (high school-aged girls are the same everywhere!), a speed make-up contest, a speed dress-an-entire-wardrobe-and-then-undress-and-fold-the-clothes contest, etc. You get the point. The kids were having a great time showing off and lots of laughter was had by all.

So the rest of this post is primarily a continuation of my thoughts from last night. I felt the need to update some from today, but the following is what is truly on my heart and why I wanted to blog.

Where do we go from here? I feel I can speak for most of the team in that we are dealing with the "Why" questions. Why me? Why them? Why does God's plan include some of us to be so richly blessed and some to be orphans? What future is there for these children? In a country that is highly prejudicial against orphans, in a country where the national economy does not promise an "American Dream" for all, in a country that seems broken in many ways, what hope is there for these children? Yet how can they have so much hope and joy during the day? And how in the world can I justify many of my petty concerns when I'm home?

These children are absolutely precious! And to know that each one of them was knit together by God just as much as any of us....now that I have seen with my own eyes, where do I go from here? The feeling is overwhelming, to be honest. But in the end, I have to come back to the fact that I can't change a country's cultural values in a day. I can't go to every orphanage in this country (there are so many and we have just scratched the surface). I can't provide for every child. But, I can be a drop in the bucket. And I can pray for lots of drops in the bucket. I can love every child I see. We are commanded to do two things, 1) Love God and 2) Love our neighbors. And there is a special place in God's heart for orphans. We are commissioned to go out. We'll never understand the mind and heart of God or fully understand His plan. But we can be obedient. We can go. We can love. We can build relationships. And, relationships are what bring change. We can send all the money we want (which certainly helps), but I am convinced that relationships are what drive true change.

Last night, I was heartbroken. Today, I remain shaken. I still can't fully wrap my mind and heart around Moldova. There is just so much. And I admit I'm still not sure what to do from here. I just know that I have to be obedient and I have to play my part. Oh, what this trip has begun.

Forgive the stream of consciousness format of this blog. It's pretty obvious I'm still sorting this out with God, as all of us are. Please continue to pray for our team in our final days, pray for Moldova, pray for relationships, and pray for open doors.

-Scott